Here's a little thing about hiring a dancer.
What you think you're paying for : someone to do a little dance routine.
What you're actually paying for : someone to do a little dance routine,
PLUS
1. equipment
2. hours of rehearsal time
3. rehearsal space
4. burning the song to a cd
5. transportation/petrol to and from the venue
6. the amount of money they spent on
lessons/schools/trainings to be the
Dancers that they are
7. promotions and website cost
8. the percentages that goes to income tax
9. telephone & internet bills spent on
organizing the performance and its rehearsals
10. booking fee
11. manager/agent fee (if any)
12. insurance
not to mention
we still need to pay rent, car insurance, health insurance,
housing bills, we also need to feed ourselves.
AND
we also run the risk of your guests ruining our costumes spilling red wine on the stage/floor. There..
Still think that offering 'exposure and experience' is a fair price?
you wouldn't expect a plumber, carpenter, hairdresser, doctor, dentist, optician, electrician, chef, mechanic, dressmaker, shop owner to work for free would you?
PS : Respect every dancer. Our jobs aren't as petty and easy as it may seem. We do shit just like everybody else.
If you ask yourself why artiste(singers, dancers, musicians, producers etc) charge so much for performances is pretty straight forward..
We don't get paid vacation, we don't get paid sick days, we don't get bonuses for outstanding performances nor for Raya. We don't have insurance plans nor do we qualify for unemployment. We sacrifice our family on special days so that we can bring happiness to others.
Illness or personal affairs are not excuses for a bad performance. Next time you ask, remember that artiste are artiste because of the love of music & art, but that love doesn't pay debts.
Sunday, August 20, 2017
Monday, October 17, 2016
Better Person?
Why does being ‘a good person’ have such a bad name?
In the modern world, the idea of trying to be good or kind conjures up all sorts of negative associations: of piety, solemnity, bloodlessness and sexual renunciation.
It’s telling that ‘wicked’ has even become a term of praise. And yet the project of being good is as vital, or even more important, for the individual and society as is the project of being healthy.
Yet while we have no problem with going to the gym to get fitter, it sounds deeply weird, even creepy, to suggest that one might ‘work’ at being better or nicer.
That’s because we imagine that practice has nothing to do with being good – and if it is involved, then it’s merely a route to being fake.
We assume you just are good (or are not) but exercise is not involved. This seems profoundly mistaken.
Just as we have physical muscles, so we have ethical ones, and they too must be put through their paces. Goodness has to be worked at.
In the ethical gym of the future, we might regularly be put through our paces. We would have to imagine life through another’s eyes, practice giving way in arguments, emulate the diplomacy and tact of paragons of patience and learn to deflect despair through calculated doses of hope.
Aristotle thought that being good meant practicing twelve key virtues, Christianity argued for seven. There’s no scientific answer, but the key seems to be to have some kind of list with which to guide our efforts at being good. We all want better lives, until now, too few of us have shown much interest in being better people.
In the modern world, the idea of trying to be good or kind conjures up all sorts of negative associations: of piety, solemnity, bloodlessness and sexual renunciation.
It’s telling that ‘wicked’ has even become a term of praise. And yet the project of being good is as vital, or even more important, for the individual and society as is the project of being healthy.
Yet while we have no problem with going to the gym to get fitter, it sounds deeply weird, even creepy, to suggest that one might ‘work’ at being better or nicer.
That’s because we imagine that practice has nothing to do with being good – and if it is involved, then it’s merely a route to being fake.
We assume you just are good (or are not) but exercise is not involved. This seems profoundly mistaken.
Just as we have physical muscles, so we have ethical ones, and they too must be put through their paces. Goodness has to be worked at.
In the ethical gym of the future, we might regularly be put through our paces. We would have to imagine life through another’s eyes, practice giving way in arguments, emulate the diplomacy and tact of paragons of patience and learn to deflect despair through calculated doses of hope.
Aristotle thought that being good meant practicing twelve key virtues, Christianity argued for seven. There’s no scientific answer, but the key seems to be to have some kind of list with which to guide our efforts at being good. We all want better lives, until now, too few of us have shown much interest in being better people.
20 things you need to let go to be HAPPY
Everyone has one common goal in life: to achieve true happiness. The biggest factor holding us back from achieving our dreams is, simply and sadly, our own selves. We put limitations on ourselves everyday, whether intentionally or unintentionally. There are so many ways we can alleviate these restraints.
Remember, life can either be something you embrace or something you hide from. Stop making things complicated and just live your life. It would be so much simpler and more enjoyable if we learned to just release certain limitations. Let’s take a look at the things you need to let go of in order to become a happier person.
1. The Approval Of Others Who gives a sh*t what other people think? If you are happy with the decisions you have made, then whose business is that but your own? Think of how much you could achieve if you stopped letting other people’s opinions dictate the way you live your life. Do you, and engage in whatever actions you think might better your life.
2. Anger/Resentment Anger will eat at you from the inside. Learn how to make peace with those who have wronged you. This isn’t about letting the other person off the hook; it’s about alleviating the pain that resonates within you. Keep in mind that he who angers you, controls you.
“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.”
3. Negative Body Image
There is only one person’s opinion you should be concerned with when it comes to your body and that is you. No one person determines what the “correct” body type is. If you are comfortable in your own skin, and you are healthy, then that should be the only thing that matters. Do not let others tell you that you’re not beautiful because if you believe you are, then you are.
4. Idea Of A Perfect Partner
There is no such thing as a perfect partner, so throw your checklist out the window. In life, what prevents us from moving forward is looking at the perfect image of a partner we concoct in our minds. Find the right person for you: one that you can love with all your heart, one you feel comfortable with and one that accepts you for the person you are. The sooner you realize there isn’t one perfect person out there for you, the better off you will be.
“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” – Bob Marley
5. Perfect Life
Just like there is no perfect partner, there is also not a perfect life. Life is what you put into it, so if you are not willing to work hard and put forth effort, you will most likely end up miserable. The choices you make will directly reflect the life you lead. It is up to you to create the best possible world for yourself.
6. You’re Going To Be Rich
Too many people live their lives with the thought that they will be millionaires. While this can be a realistic goal for some, it is not something that can be achieved without hard work and dedication. Stop letting money be your sole motivator; find a career you are passionate about and immerse yourself in it completely.
7. The Idea That Good Fortune Will Arrive At Your Doorstep
You need to go out into the world and actively look for fulfillment. You cannot take a backseat in life and expect things to happen for you. Appreciate the life you live, and be grateful for what you have. Value each minute of every day. Live like there’s no tomorrow, and make the most out of any situation.
8. Excuses
Make no time for excuses. You want to work out, but you don’t have the time? Wake up early and get your gym on. Excuses are only rationalizations that make you feel better about yourself for not doing something you want/need to be doing. You desire results? Stop bitching, and start doing.
9. Thoughts Of Your Ex
This person is your ex for a reason. If you are going to think of him or her at all, try and think only about the lessons the experience taught you. Do not linger on any old feelings, as this will only prevent you from being happy with someone else in the future.
10. Stubbornness
I know it’s hard to admit, but sometimes you are just wrong. Other people have just as much capability as you do in providing the correct answer, so stop being stubborn and just embrace it. The less stubborn you act, the more open you are to learning new things. Think of all you could be exposed to if you stopped believing in opinions other than your own.
11. Procrastination
Stop thinking you will finally get to whatever task is at hand tomorrow. Live in the present, and get your sh*t done when it needs to be done. Maximize your time to the best of your ability. Complete each task you need to as soon as you can. This allows you to feel free from worry and stress by getting things out of the way as soon as possible. You also allow yourself more free time to enjoy the things you love.
12. Your Baggage
We have all been hurt one time or another by someone we loved, or we thought we loved. Carrying negative feelings into future relationships will only prove to be disastrous. No two people are the same, so it’s unfair to hold a future partner to a standard set by an ex. Try to begin each new relationship with a clean slate.
13. Negativity
What you put out into the universe will come back to you, so change the way you think, immediately. Stop thinking of life as a glass half empty, but rather, half full. You have so much to be grateful for, if only you took a moment to appreciate it. Anything is possible in the mind of a positive thinker.
14. Judgmental Thoughts
Why do people feel the need to constantly worry about what is going on in other people’s lives? If we spent as much time worrying about our own behaviors as we do worrying about those of others, our lives would be a whole lot more meaningful. You have no idea what is going on in another person’s life, so who are you to pass judgment on the way they act?
15. Jealousy
Happiness is not having what you want; it’s wanting what you have. Stop envying others and learn to appreciate what you have. Everyone’s life is unique; you have certain things to offer that others cannot. When we act in a jealous manner, all we do is bring negative feelings into our lives. There is absolutely nothing to gain from behaving this way.
16. Insecurity
Happy people tend to have extremely high levels of self-esteem. They accept who they are and work it everyday of their lives. They radiate confidence, flaunt their pride and give off positive vibes. There is no reason to be insecure in life. If there are things you are self-conscious about, go out into the world and seek to change them. Only you have the ability to create the best version of yourself.
17. Depending On Others For Happiness
At the end of the day, the only person you can count on 100 percent of the time is yourself. Do not make the unfortunate mistake many people do and put your happiness in the hands of others. A relationship is not going to fulfill the void if you can’t even make yourself happy. You need to achieve happiness on your own before you can find someone else to share it with. This creates a detrimental dependency that will prevent you from becoming self-sufficient.
18. The Past
Stop living in the past! There is virtually nothing you can gain if you wallow in mistakes you have previously made. Take past mistakes as lessons learned, and move forward. You cannot wholeheartedly move on to a better future if you are constantly looking behind you. Things happened, and that’s that. Take them with a grain of salt and move on.
19. The Need For Control
Sometimes you just need to let life happen the way it is meant to. You cannot spend your life stressing about things that are outside of your control. Try to relax, and let things play out naturally. Embrace the unknown, as this is where you will be surprised the most. Let yourself be whisked into unforeseen endeavors, and relish in the excitement they bring.
20. Expectations
Managing your expectations is the key to happiness. If you let go of expectations, you will never be disappointed. Often, we tend to believe that the way we treat others will be the way we are treated in return. Unfortunately, this does not always happen. Do not expect a certain result from any given situations. Go into an experience with an open mind. This will allow you to fully immerse yourself, without the pressure of living up to preconceived notions.
Remember, life can either be something you embrace or something you hide from. Stop making things complicated and just live your life. It would be so much simpler and more enjoyable if we learned to just release certain limitations. Let’s take a look at the things you need to let go of in order to become a happier person.
1. The Approval Of Others Who gives a sh*t what other people think? If you are happy with the decisions you have made, then whose business is that but your own? Think of how much you could achieve if you stopped letting other people’s opinions dictate the way you live your life. Do you, and engage in whatever actions you think might better your life.
2. Anger/Resentment Anger will eat at you from the inside. Learn how to make peace with those who have wronged you. This isn’t about letting the other person off the hook; it’s about alleviating the pain that resonates within you. Keep in mind that he who angers you, controls you.
“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.”
3. Negative Body Image
There is only one person’s opinion you should be concerned with when it comes to your body and that is you. No one person determines what the “correct” body type is. If you are comfortable in your own skin, and you are healthy, then that should be the only thing that matters. Do not let others tell you that you’re not beautiful because if you believe you are, then you are.
4. Idea Of A Perfect Partner
There is no such thing as a perfect partner, so throw your checklist out the window. In life, what prevents us from moving forward is looking at the perfect image of a partner we concoct in our minds. Find the right person for you: one that you can love with all your heart, one you feel comfortable with and one that accepts you for the person you are. The sooner you realize there isn’t one perfect person out there for you, the better off you will be.
“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” – Bob Marley
5. Perfect Life
Just like there is no perfect partner, there is also not a perfect life. Life is what you put into it, so if you are not willing to work hard and put forth effort, you will most likely end up miserable. The choices you make will directly reflect the life you lead. It is up to you to create the best possible world for yourself.
6. You’re Going To Be Rich
Too many people live their lives with the thought that they will be millionaires. While this can be a realistic goal for some, it is not something that can be achieved without hard work and dedication. Stop letting money be your sole motivator; find a career you are passionate about and immerse yourself in it completely.
7. The Idea That Good Fortune Will Arrive At Your Doorstep
You need to go out into the world and actively look for fulfillment. You cannot take a backseat in life and expect things to happen for you. Appreciate the life you live, and be grateful for what you have. Value each minute of every day. Live like there’s no tomorrow, and make the most out of any situation.
8. Excuses
Make no time for excuses. You want to work out, but you don’t have the time? Wake up early and get your gym on. Excuses are only rationalizations that make you feel better about yourself for not doing something you want/need to be doing. You desire results? Stop bitching, and start doing.
9. Thoughts Of Your Ex
This person is your ex for a reason. If you are going to think of him or her at all, try and think only about the lessons the experience taught you. Do not linger on any old feelings, as this will only prevent you from being happy with someone else in the future.
10. Stubbornness
I know it’s hard to admit, but sometimes you are just wrong. Other people have just as much capability as you do in providing the correct answer, so stop being stubborn and just embrace it. The less stubborn you act, the more open you are to learning new things. Think of all you could be exposed to if you stopped believing in opinions other than your own.
11. Procrastination
Stop thinking you will finally get to whatever task is at hand tomorrow. Live in the present, and get your sh*t done when it needs to be done. Maximize your time to the best of your ability. Complete each task you need to as soon as you can. This allows you to feel free from worry and stress by getting things out of the way as soon as possible. You also allow yourself more free time to enjoy the things you love.
12. Your Baggage
We have all been hurt one time or another by someone we loved, or we thought we loved. Carrying negative feelings into future relationships will only prove to be disastrous. No two people are the same, so it’s unfair to hold a future partner to a standard set by an ex. Try to begin each new relationship with a clean slate.
13. Negativity
What you put out into the universe will come back to you, so change the way you think, immediately. Stop thinking of life as a glass half empty, but rather, half full. You have so much to be grateful for, if only you took a moment to appreciate it. Anything is possible in the mind of a positive thinker.
14. Judgmental Thoughts
Why do people feel the need to constantly worry about what is going on in other people’s lives? If we spent as much time worrying about our own behaviors as we do worrying about those of others, our lives would be a whole lot more meaningful. You have no idea what is going on in another person’s life, so who are you to pass judgment on the way they act?
15. Jealousy
Happiness is not having what you want; it’s wanting what you have. Stop envying others and learn to appreciate what you have. Everyone’s life is unique; you have certain things to offer that others cannot. When we act in a jealous manner, all we do is bring negative feelings into our lives. There is absolutely nothing to gain from behaving this way.
16. Insecurity
Happy people tend to have extremely high levels of self-esteem. They accept who they are and work it everyday of their lives. They radiate confidence, flaunt their pride and give off positive vibes. There is no reason to be insecure in life. If there are things you are self-conscious about, go out into the world and seek to change them. Only you have the ability to create the best version of yourself.
17. Depending On Others For Happiness
At the end of the day, the only person you can count on 100 percent of the time is yourself. Do not make the unfortunate mistake many people do and put your happiness in the hands of others. A relationship is not going to fulfill the void if you can’t even make yourself happy. You need to achieve happiness on your own before you can find someone else to share it with. This creates a detrimental dependency that will prevent you from becoming self-sufficient.
18. The Past
Stop living in the past! There is virtually nothing you can gain if you wallow in mistakes you have previously made. Take past mistakes as lessons learned, and move forward. You cannot wholeheartedly move on to a better future if you are constantly looking behind you. Things happened, and that’s that. Take them with a grain of salt and move on.
19. The Need For Control
Sometimes you just need to let life happen the way it is meant to. You cannot spend your life stressing about things that are outside of your control. Try to relax, and let things play out naturally. Embrace the unknown, as this is where you will be surprised the most. Let yourself be whisked into unforeseen endeavors, and relish in the excitement they bring.
20. Expectations
Managing your expectations is the key to happiness. If you let go of expectations, you will never be disappointed. Often, we tend to believe that the way we treat others will be the way we are treated in return. Unfortunately, this does not always happen. Do not expect a certain result from any given situations. Go into an experience with an open mind. This will allow you to fully immerse yourself, without the pressure of living up to preconceived notions.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
My 2014
2014 is ending soon, and I’m reflecting on the things that had happened throughout the year. Seems to me like, the only thing I never really did manage to achieve from year to year was losing weight. Like I said, it is pretty impossible for me to lose weight BUT yes, I lost inches. So many of ‘em, the only thingI need to do now is just get fit and toned. Although I am in shape LOL. yes, I am in shape.. round is a shape. Bahahahahaha. Okay it’s time to talk about something a little bit more serious and recap some of the good and bad memories.
Firstly, I got into this year single. After being in a long distanced, unhealthy relationship, I finally got off. Too bad things just didn’t work out and I pretty much wasted my time being in denial and fought for my relationship way too long than I should be, when I knew it was going down the drain. Didn’t take him a long time to find a replacement anyways, lol. Then, mid January was pretty hard for me as I lost someone close to my heart. My good friend passed, he was way to young. I wasn’t ready to lose him, a very nice guy, kind hearted. I was there when he was hospitalized, I saw the drastic change before he passed. It broke my heart, and it left me haunted by my dreams, dreams of him. I was so lost at the moment. And I didn’t know how to handle those feelings because the day that he passed, was the day that my brother got engaged. I had to put a smile on my face when, deep down I just couldn’t take it.
Enough about January, I wanted to have a very long long long holiday. I worked so hard for 2 years and abroad, and never had time for myself. So I decided to go to a whole year long vacation (which didn’t really got up to one year, but twas good enough for me!) I went to Thailand (Hatyai specifically), Singapore, Langkawi, Labuan, and the States.. Stayed in LA for a bit, went to Orange County and San Diego, visiting and then I end up in San Francisco and Seattle. Sepatutnya sambung ke Miami to visit my aunt, but tak sempat. They say ‘betul-betul balun’ ni. Haha. Twas good for me, I get to celebrate my birthday there (when most of you know, I’m always scared of celebrating my birthday. It haunts me and it’s terrifying) I guess I deserved my time off and I enjoyed my freedom!
Later, I had to come back to Malaysia eventually. Kenot lah. Once a workaholic, always have been, and always will be. I’m so attached to dancing, I just had to come back. Plus, my brother was getting married in April, so I had to come back and help out. Yes I felt macam tak puas, but twas a good thing. It kickstarted my dancing jobs again. I got busy back2back shows, managing events, coordinating, singing, assisting jobs, teaching and what not. After that, I heard Supermokh The Musical was doing a comeback, and I just had to audition. I LOVEEEEE the stage life of a musical. It’s so mesmerizing, the experience is beyond words. So I audition and got it.! Rehearsals started in July, and shows are in september. But believe you me, sempat cuti lagi sebelum kerja! Boracay babyyyyy! But when I was there, party-party kat sana macam sangat wow. Sampai tak terlarat nak catch up. Almaklumlah, I’m getting old. Tak larat dah lutut nak enjoy-enjoy macamtu.
I had a wonderful time being involved with Supermokh, it really paid off. Fun team to work with. Tipu lah kalau kecik-kecik drama tu tak ada, but everyone is professional right? I THINK SO LAH. Anywho, positive vibe lah jugak, and less politics I can say? Yea. After the cast party tu, I end up holiday-ing again! haha, back to the Philippines, balik Manila, bicol. Stayed in Naga city for a bit. A relaxing time for me. And, at the same time had a friend looking for me there, so sweet. Getting to know the whole Filipino family of mine, he pretty much looked for me everyday when I was there. Spoke to me a few times in a day. So cute. I saw some initiative there ;P
I came back happy, with a surprising good news. I got two huge job offers. One from Airasia which I turned down. One more is Astro, which I accepted and currently in training with Astro On Air. Syukur Alhamdulillah. I was rather surprised getting both; Airasia was tempting sangat, since I was amongst the top finalist they wanted and requested by the Captain of Airasia.. and Astro On Air pun tak kurang surprising jugak, as I was personally handpicked by Dato Aznil Haji Nawawi to join this course which is fully sponsored by Astro Talent Management. I mean like, really.. WOW. And ofcourse, opportunities like this don’t come knocking on your door twice. And I took Astro, also because tak lari dari bidang yang diceburi; Entertainment. So far after being in training for two and a half months now, I could see that I have learnt A LOT, and these knowledge that I’m getting for free is so valuable because not only it is passed down for free ;P but because I’m getting it from the best teachers in this line. So terima kasih Allah. I can never thank Him enough.
I’ve been through a lot this year actually, it’s just that I choose to highlight the good times in here, because I don’t see the point in reminiscing too much of negativity that have happened in the past year, it’ll only bring tears and pain. So no need. What I can say is, this year has its ups and downs.. and I’m thankful for everything. So I’m praying for the best next year, kalau ada jodoh tetap dengan Astro.. In Shaa Allah, it’ll be my humble beginning for something new. kalau ada jodoh kahwin juga.. In Shaa Allah, dengan izinNya. Kalau ada jodoh kita juga, we’ll meet again. Thank you for reading this. It is not much, but that’s my story. Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015. May all be good for me, for you and for the rest of the world. Amen~
Enough about January, I wanted to have a very long long long holiday. I worked so hard for 2 years and abroad, and never had time for myself. So I decided to go to a whole year long vacation (which didn’t really got up to one year, but twas good enough for me!) I went to Thailand (Hatyai specifically), Singapore, Langkawi, Labuan, and the States.. Stayed in LA for a bit, went to Orange County and San Diego, visiting and then I end up in San Francisco and Seattle. Sepatutnya sambung ke Miami to visit my aunt, but tak sempat. They say ‘betul-betul balun’ ni. Haha. Twas good for me, I get to celebrate my birthday there (when most of you know, I’m always scared of celebrating my birthday. It haunts me and it’s terrifying) I guess I deserved my time off and I enjoyed my freedom!
Later, I had to come back to Malaysia eventually. Kenot lah. Once a workaholic, always have been, and always will be. I’m so attached to dancing, I just had to come back. Plus, my brother was getting married in April, so I had to come back and help out. Yes I felt macam tak puas, but twas a good thing. It kickstarted my dancing jobs again. I got busy back2back shows, managing events, coordinating, singing, assisting jobs, teaching and what not. After that, I heard Supermokh The Musical was doing a comeback, and I just had to audition. I LOVEEEEE the stage life of a musical. It’s so mesmerizing, the experience is beyond words. So I audition and got it.! Rehearsals started in July, and shows are in september. But believe you me, sempat cuti lagi sebelum kerja! Boracay babyyyyy! But when I was there, party-party kat sana macam sangat wow. Sampai tak terlarat nak catch up. Almaklumlah, I’m getting old. Tak larat dah lutut nak enjoy-enjoy macamtu.
I had a wonderful time being involved with Supermokh, it really paid off. Fun team to work with. Tipu lah kalau kecik-kecik drama tu tak ada, but everyone is professional right? I THINK SO LAH. Anywho, positive vibe lah jugak, and less politics I can say? Yea. After the cast party tu, I end up holiday-ing again! haha, back to the Philippines, balik Manila, bicol. Stayed in Naga city for a bit. A relaxing time for me. And, at the same time had a friend looking for me there, so sweet. Getting to know the whole Filipino family of mine, he pretty much looked for me everyday when I was there. Spoke to me a few times in a day. So cute. I saw some initiative there ;P
I came back happy, with a surprising good news. I got two huge job offers. One from Airasia which I turned down. One more is Astro, which I accepted and currently in training with Astro On Air. Syukur Alhamdulillah. I was rather surprised getting both; Airasia was tempting sangat, since I was amongst the top finalist they wanted and requested by the Captain of Airasia.. and Astro On Air pun tak kurang surprising jugak, as I was personally handpicked by Dato Aznil Haji Nawawi to join this course which is fully sponsored by Astro Talent Management. I mean like, really.. WOW. And ofcourse, opportunities like this don’t come knocking on your door twice. And I took Astro, also because tak lari dari bidang yang diceburi; Entertainment. So far after being in training for two and a half months now, I could see that I have learnt A LOT, and these knowledge that I’m getting for free is so valuable because not only it is passed down for free ;P but because I’m getting it from the best teachers in this line. So terima kasih Allah. I can never thank Him enough.
I’ve been through a lot this year actually, it’s just that I choose to highlight the good times in here, because I don’t see the point in reminiscing too much of negativity that have happened in the past year, it’ll only bring tears and pain. So no need. What I can say is, this year has its ups and downs.. and I’m thankful for everything. So I’m praying for the best next year, kalau ada jodoh tetap dengan Astro.. In Shaa Allah, it’ll be my humble beginning for something new. kalau ada jodoh kahwin juga.. In Shaa Allah, dengan izinNya. Kalau ada jodoh kita juga, we’ll meet again. Thank you for reading this. It is not much, but that’s my story. Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015. May all be good for me, for you and for the rest of the world. Amen~
Monday, January 28, 2013
When life takes a toll
Now that’s a good thing la I supposed. I mean, I don’t decide on things whilst I’m angry/down/pissed.. that’s what most people say - ‘you don’t make good choices when you’re emotionally disturbed’.. sometimes my timing can be so random; Today I can be extremely happy, and suddenly *BAM!*.. next thing I know is.. by the end of the day.. I need a time off. But then again, I don’t really shut people off. Maybe I haven’t gone through that stage but I have been through some of the worst shit even the time I was in school. Well my life wasn’t all rainbows and candies.. I remember more incidents than happy times throughout my days growing up.. and to tell you the truth.. the word ‘hurt/pain’ blends in my veins so well that there are times.. I am just so numb I don’t feel a thing. Without me realizing I build walls. I don’t shut people off or whatever, but I realized at one time.. people find it hard to get through me. I got through all that thanks to vinoth kumar especially.. he discovered so many things about me that I don’t even realize. And I’m talking about my goods and bads.
After that.. I slowly changed. To him I was always a good girl, but to me I’m always messed up. I am dominant, yes.. I am strong, yes.. but some part of me just feel like I don’t belong. So now you know how my brain works. whatever it is.. it all balls back to mentality, self-discipline, and support. I have a few people who left me, and end up regretting.. I don’t call myself an angel, I’m not a saint. Perhaps the term ‘sometimes people only appreciate what they have, only when it’s gone. and by then.. it’s too late’ really does apply in real life ey? Yet, I have the right people around me. You may be brought up well by your parents, they may have taught you well.. but if deep in your heart you’ve always wanted to rebel.. one fine day you eventually will. everything balls back to you. how life is gonna be, is totally up to you. you’re gonna be the one walking through that lane.. So you either make it or you don’t. therefore I have always kept that in mind..
I’m not the kinda person who likes to retaliate. I don’t do tantrums too. I’m not short-tempered, I’m not quick-tempered, but I have a temper. everyone does. But I can eventually say I am a very patient person. Other than that.. I do get stress easily, now that’s to be honest. and frankly speaking, quite most of the time. But at the end of the day, either I cry it all out, keep myself locked up the whole day, or I just shut up about it.. I always needed a time off for myself, but never had one after few years.
In shaa allah, I have god with me. Berdoa supaya takkan pernah sampai ke tahap masuk hospital angkara stress-illness. Allah is great. In shaa allah again, I know I can handle myself well. May I always have faith. In shaa allah, 2013 will be great. Whomever is reading this, pray for me.. for my success :)
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Money Goes Out Like Water
Money goes out like water
I seriously don’t know where all my money went but I can tell you. I spend on food nowadays like nobody’s business. I know I didn’t spend on me alone ar. Food I don’t berkira much ar. Other than that I seriously don’t know were all my money went. Perhaps it’s the outing. Since I don’t get to go cuti I try to relax my stressed out brain for a movie or two. Well actually, I was never a movie kinda person. It has always been once in a blue moon. and by that I meant, setahun tak sekali, would you believe me when I say that?
nah, really. I don’t go for movies much. no joke.. but recently I tell you. I go for movies like as if there’s only one cinema house in Malaysia. Well it’s all the attention I get from my friends though. LOL. apa lagi kan? cause everyday is just ‘home → studio → makan → home → show’ that’s pretty much my everyday life. Yes, takde life lah katakan. But recently it’s like, gila ar. hangout a bit, spend on food, movies.. and petrol lagi to go around semua.cause if not, it ain’t gonna cost so much cause all I ever go is just studio, makan & show.. that’s all.
I gotta start monitoring my financials again.. just because I have the money, doesn’t mean I should be spending much. gotta start saving again. my mind has always been about dance, dance, dance, future, savings that’s it. money goes out from my pocket like water man and this is NOT good at all. You wanna survive in this industry you better have money to roll on. To be honest, I have 18 pending payments weii. If I don’t have money for my expenses, how am I gonna live waiting for all this 18 payments? damn pokai sia. Plus people owe me money and stuff. haish. gotta get my head straight back in the game. No distraction. Go kiks!
nah, really. I don’t go for movies much. no joke.. but recently I tell you. I go for movies like as if there’s only one cinema house in Malaysia. Well it’s all the attention I get from my friends though. LOL. apa lagi kan? cause everyday is just ‘home → studio → makan → home → show’ that’s pretty much my everyday life. Yes, takde life lah katakan. But recently it’s like, gila ar. hangout a bit, spend on food, movies.. and petrol lagi to go around semua.cause if not, it ain’t gonna cost so much cause all I ever go is just studio, makan & show.. that’s all.
I gotta start monitoring my financials again.. just because I have the money, doesn’t mean I should be spending much. gotta start saving again. my mind has always been about dance, dance, dance, future, savings that’s it. money goes out from my pocket like water man and this is NOT good at all. You wanna survive in this industry you better have money to roll on. To be honest, I have 18 pending payments weii. If I don’t have money for my expenses, how am I gonna live waiting for all this 18 payments? damn pokai sia. Plus people owe me money and stuff. haish. gotta get my head straight back in the game. No distraction. Go kiks!
Friday, November 11, 2011
back in 80s
Dear Beloved
I was BORN in 80's. The last SANE generation! - We are the last generation that learnt to play in the street, we are the first who've played video games, seen cartoons in color and went to amusement parks. - We were the last to record songs of the radio on cassettes and we are the pioneers of walkmans and chatrooms.. We Learned how to program the VCR before anyone else, play with the Atari, Super Nintendo and believed that the Internet would be a free world. - We are the generation of the Thunder Cats, the Transformers, Scooby Doo, Tom And Jerry, Jungle Book, Popeye, G.I. JOE. Traveled in cars without seat belts or air-bags - lived without cell phones. Rode our bicycles down the road without brakes. We nvr had phone but still kept in touch. We did not have Play stations, 99 television stations, flat screens, surround sound, mp3s, iPods, computers and the Internet.. but nevertheless we had a great time!
This is for you if you were born in the 80s!
Cheers
I was BORN in 80's. The last SANE generation! - We are the last generation that learnt to play in the street, we are the first who've played video games, seen cartoons in color and went to amusement parks. - We were the last to record songs of the radio on cassettes and we are the pioneers of walkmans and chatrooms.. We Learned how to program the VCR before anyone else, play with the Atari, Super Nintendo and believed that the Internet would be a free world. - We are the generation of the Thunder Cats, the Transformers, Scooby Doo, Tom And Jerry, Jungle Book, Popeye, G.I. JOE. Traveled in cars without seat belts or air-bags - lived without cell phones. Rode our bicycles down the road without brakes. We nvr had phone but still kept in touch. We did not have Play stations, 99 television stations, flat screens, surround sound, mp3s, iPods, computers and the Internet.. but nevertheless we had a great time!
This is for you if you were born in the 80s!
Cheers
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
am I lost?
Gmorning dear diary.
Been thinking a lot lately. I don't even know where to start. But here goes.. I've been thinking about what my conversation was about one time before. With vinot..
I was Somehow just telling him about
"how girls takes all the little things a guy does & turn it into Something So complicated in their own little mind & they hurt themselves. because the truth is, some guys just wanna be friends."
.....and I told him I didn't wanna be amongst those kinda girls. and Vinot actually said something that made me realize Something else. he told me,
"you can.. yes you can try not to be amongst those girls, but don't let it become a wall, that at some point.... you don't even see what is in front of your eyes, are for real"
I do understand what he's trying to say.. and I kinda actually thought about it. and at Some point, I do see it now.. that I actually built walls around myself that its so hard for people to even reach me, to know me, to feel me. I become so numb that sometimes, I dont know what love feels like, what caring is all about, what friends are really like. without me realizing, I actually stop living life.. as me. I stop understanding what life is all about. what the hell happened man. I feel So numb. where did "i" go? I always felt like I have a complete life. I do actually. I do. but everything I do I feel empty. God knows what's missing. Have you ever felt so strong that it made you feel weak? long days, long nights and you just can't sleep sometimes?
..or have you ever been so sure that it gave you cold feet? well I get that a lot. a lot alright, till at times I feel so bare I can feel my heartbeat pounding fast.
What else am I looking for? I seriously don't know. I really don't. but walau apapun terjadi, I know that God is with me. all the time. Insyallah I'll be alright. amen~
Been thinking a lot lately. I don't even know where to start. But here goes.. I've been thinking about what my conversation was about one time before. With vinot..
I was Somehow just telling him about
"how girls takes all the little things a guy does & turn it into Something So complicated in their own little mind & they hurt themselves. because the truth is, some guys just wanna be friends."
.....and I told him I didn't wanna be amongst those kinda girls. and Vinot actually said something that made me realize Something else. he told me,
"you can.. yes you can try not to be amongst those girls, but don't let it become a wall, that at some point.... you don't even see what is in front of your eyes, are for real"
I do understand what he's trying to say.. and I kinda actually thought about it. and at Some point, I do see it now.. that I actually built walls around myself that its so hard for people to even reach me, to know me, to feel me. I become so numb that sometimes, I dont know what love feels like, what caring is all about, what friends are really like. without me realizing, I actually stop living life.. as me. I stop understanding what life is all about. what the hell happened man. I feel So numb. where did "i" go? I always felt like I have a complete life. I do actually. I do. but everything I do I feel empty. God knows what's missing. Have you ever felt so strong that it made you feel weak? long days, long nights and you just can't sleep sometimes?
..or have you ever been so sure that it gave you cold feet? well I get that a lot. a lot alright, till at times I feel so bare I can feel my heartbeat pounding fast.
What else am I looking for? I seriously don't know. I really don't. but walau apapun terjadi, I know that God is with me. all the time. Insyallah I'll be alright. amen~
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Abuse
Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone in a family or even in a relationship.. Regardless of size, gender, or strength, yet the problem is often excused, or denied.
Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you..
I know psychological abuse is often overlooked, yet it can leave deep and lasting scars. They say noticing and acknowledging the warning signs and symptoms of domestic violence and abuse is the first step to ending it.. But seriously?? I don't think so.
I just think that no one should live in fear of the person they love.. People say if you recognize yourself or someone you know in the following warning signs and descriptions of abuse, don’t hesitate to reach out. There is help available.
But I think not everyone can be saved.
I truly feel for those who went through this. Well I have. I sometimes don't understand up to a certain point where they start a joke that is not meant to be funny or make fun of you.. and when they get an unpleasant reaction, they get upset and there you go.. *Shazaymmn*!! Everything just went bombastic. And things repeats by itself and they will never change.
I'm starting to think that it is one of their bad habits that's hard for them to kick it out. and it isn't healthy at all. When you're abused physically and psychologically.. This can contribute to a disruption of the body system. These are one of the major factor on people who get stroke, mental illness; delusional and all. hmm. Abd like I said, this doesn't only take courage or guts, it takes you patience to handle this problem wisely.
And as for me. I've been through all these things and it is sure not easy. In short, never look for a guy who beats you up. Or just “stay away from the people who are capable of hurting you physically”.. Love yourself first. That's the mistake I did for so long.
Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you..
I know psychological abuse is often overlooked, yet it can leave deep and lasting scars. They say noticing and acknowledging the warning signs and symptoms of domestic violence and abuse is the first step to ending it.. But seriously?? I don't think so.
I just think that no one should live in fear of the person they love.. People say if you recognize yourself or someone you know in the following warning signs and descriptions of abuse, don’t hesitate to reach out. There is help available.
But I think not everyone can be saved.
I truly feel for those who went through this. Well I have. I sometimes don't understand up to a certain point where they start a joke that is not meant to be funny or make fun of you.. and when they get an unpleasant reaction, they get upset and there you go.. *Shazaymmn*!! Everything just went bombastic. And things repeats by itself and they will never change.
I'm starting to think that it is one of their bad habits that's hard for them to kick it out. and it isn't healthy at all. When you're abused physically and psychologically.. This can contribute to a disruption of the body system. These are one of the major factor on people who get stroke, mental illness; delusional and all. hmm. Abd like I said, this doesn't only take courage or guts, it takes you patience to handle this problem wisely.
And as for me. I've been through all these things and it is sure not easy. In short, never look for a guy who beats you up. Or just “stay away from the people who are capable of hurting you physically”.. Love yourself first. That's the mistake I did for so long.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Artist zaman sekarang. Baru NAK naik belagak melebih !
Susah kalau artist baru nak naik belagak macam diva. Patut sedar diri tapi belagak, tak pandang kan kiri dah. nak kata fake? plastic sangat la. Dengan datang rehearsal tak geti nak salam orang. Mintak tunjuk ajar orang yang berpengalaman mengajar harmony tapi kedekut gila nak bayar. Jangan lupa kita nak hidup bukan bayar pakai bulu kaki. Kalau bekerja keras untuk dapatkan duit. SO does others.
Showcase orang selamba kau bantai repeat lagu macam kau punya showcase. Siap boleh blame soundman/technical problem. Kalau ye pun you dont have the right to do so! it's not your bloody job to simply ruin the whole timing. Kalau bawak orang takpe lagi. Ni takde crowd langsung. Fan page 3000+ kononnya tapi sekor pon TAKDE. Kata.. Listed for ABP 2011.. Mesti ada fans kan? Dahla patahkan mic stand tak ganti/say sorry/apologize. Lepas perform terus cabut. apa salah nya lepak kejap tunggu closing to wrap up the show. Ni tak. Selamba kau je chow tak inform. Biadap bin Kurang ajaran. Dari dulu sampai sekarang takleh bawak berbincang langsung. Tegur sikit, terus delete kat facebook. Bila tanya kat phone tak reply. Pejadah la perangai. Tak berubah perangai macam budak2. Makin tua makin childish. sangat sangat CHILDISH. sebut nama kang terasa. Kalau sedar diri takpe.
Sabar je lah aku ni ha. dabik dada tanya selera. Orang buat baik tak geti nak balas.
Kat facebook rajin pulak delete-mendelete. screw tertanggal kot kat kepala tu. dulu pun sama. Argue pasal ideas of upcoming shows. tapi tanak terima. melenting. Don't let people around you swift away from you. Pegi la bengkel tu. Masuk workshop. perbetulkan apa yang patut.
Showcase orang selamba kau bantai repeat lagu macam kau punya showcase. Siap boleh blame soundman/technical problem. Kalau ye pun you dont have the right to do so! it's not your bloody job to simply ruin the whole timing. Kalau bawak orang takpe lagi. Ni takde crowd langsung. Fan page 3000+ kononnya tapi sekor pon TAKDE. Kata.. Listed for ABP 2011.. Mesti ada fans kan? Dahla patahkan mic stand tak ganti/say sorry/apologize. Lepas perform terus cabut. apa salah nya lepak kejap tunggu closing to wrap up the show. Ni tak. Selamba kau je chow tak inform. Biadap bin Kurang ajaran. Dari dulu sampai sekarang takleh bawak berbincang langsung. Tegur sikit, terus delete kat facebook. Bila tanya kat phone tak reply. Pejadah la perangai. Tak berubah perangai macam budak2. Makin tua makin childish. sangat sangat CHILDISH. sebut nama kang terasa. Kalau sedar diri takpe.
Sabar je lah aku ni ha. dabik dada tanya selera. Orang buat baik tak geti nak balas.
Kat facebook rajin pulak delete-mendelete. screw tertanggal kot kat kepala tu. dulu pun sama. Argue pasal ideas of upcoming shows. tapi tanak terima. melenting. Don't let people around you swift away from you. Pegi la bengkel tu. Masuk workshop. perbetulkan apa yang patut.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)