Money goes out like water
I seriously don’t know where all my money went but I can tell you. I spend on food nowadays like nobody’s business. I know I didn’t spend on me alone ar. Food I don’t berkira much ar. Other than that I seriously don’t know were all my money went. Perhaps it’s the outing. Since I don’t get to go cuti I try to relax my stressed out brain for a movie or two. Well actually, I was never a movie kinda person. It has always been once in a blue moon. and by that I meant, setahun tak sekali, would you believe me when I say that?
nah, really. I don’t go for movies much. no joke.. but recently I tell you. I go for movies like as if there’s only one cinema house in Malaysia. Well it’s all the attention I get from my friends though. LOL. apa lagi kan? cause everyday is just ‘home → studio → makan → home → show’ that’s pretty much my everyday life. Yes, takde life lah katakan. But recently it’s like, gila ar. hangout a bit, spend on food, movies.. and petrol lagi to go around semua.cause if not, it ain’t gonna cost so much cause all I ever go is just studio, makan & show.. that’s all.
I gotta start monitoring my financials again.. just because I have the money, doesn’t mean I should be spending much. gotta start saving again. my mind has always been about dance, dance, dance, future, savings that’s it. money goes out from my pocket like water man and this is NOT good at all. You wanna survive in this industry you better have money to roll on. To be honest, I have 18 pending payments weii. If I don’t have money for my expenses, how am I gonna live waiting for all this 18 payments? damn pokai sia. Plus people owe me money and stuff. haish. gotta get my head straight back in the game. No distraction. Go kiks!
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Friday, November 11, 2011
back in 80s
Dear Beloved
I was BORN in 80's. The last SANE generation! - We are the last generation that learnt to play in the street, we are the first who've played video games, seen cartoons in color and went to amusement parks. - We were the last to record songs of the radio on cassettes and we are the pioneers of walkmans and chatrooms.. We Learned how to program the VCR before anyone else, play with the Atari, Super Nintendo and believed that the Internet would be a free world. - We are the generation of the Thunder Cats, the Transformers, Scooby Doo, Tom And Jerry, Jungle Book, Popeye, G.I. JOE. Traveled in cars without seat belts or air-bags - lived without cell phones. Rode our bicycles down the road without brakes. We nvr had phone but still kept in touch. We did not have Play stations, 99 television stations, flat screens, surround sound, mp3s, iPods, computers and the Internet.. but nevertheless we had a great time!
This is for you if you were born in the 80s!
Cheers
I was BORN in 80's. The last SANE generation! - We are the last generation that learnt to play in the street, we are the first who've played video games, seen cartoons in color and went to amusement parks. - We were the last to record songs of the radio on cassettes and we are the pioneers of walkmans and chatrooms.. We Learned how to program the VCR before anyone else, play with the Atari, Super Nintendo and believed that the Internet would be a free world. - We are the generation of the Thunder Cats, the Transformers, Scooby Doo, Tom And Jerry, Jungle Book, Popeye, G.I. JOE. Traveled in cars without seat belts or air-bags - lived without cell phones. Rode our bicycles down the road without brakes. We nvr had phone but still kept in touch. We did not have Play stations, 99 television stations, flat screens, surround sound, mp3s, iPods, computers and the Internet.. but nevertheless we had a great time!
This is for you if you were born in the 80s!
Cheers
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
am I lost?
Gmorning dear diary.
Been thinking a lot lately. I don't even know where to start. But here goes.. I've been thinking about what my conversation was about one time before. With vinot..
I was Somehow just telling him about
"how girls takes all the little things a guy does & turn it into Something So complicated in their own little mind & they hurt themselves. because the truth is, some guys just wanna be friends."
.....and I told him I didn't wanna be amongst those kinda girls. and Vinot actually said something that made me realize Something else. he told me,
"you can.. yes you can try not to be amongst those girls, but don't let it become a wall, that at some point.... you don't even see what is in front of your eyes, are for real"
I do understand what he's trying to say.. and I kinda actually thought about it. and at Some point, I do see it now.. that I actually built walls around myself that its so hard for people to even reach me, to know me, to feel me. I become so numb that sometimes, I dont know what love feels like, what caring is all about, what friends are really like. without me realizing, I actually stop living life.. as me. I stop understanding what life is all about. what the hell happened man. I feel So numb. where did "i" go? I always felt like I have a complete life. I do actually. I do. but everything I do I feel empty. God knows what's missing. Have you ever felt so strong that it made you feel weak? long days, long nights and you just can't sleep sometimes?
..or have you ever been so sure that it gave you cold feet? well I get that a lot. a lot alright, till at times I feel so bare I can feel my heartbeat pounding fast.
What else am I looking for? I seriously don't know. I really don't. but walau apapun terjadi, I know that God is with me. all the time. Insyallah I'll be alright. amen~
Been thinking a lot lately. I don't even know where to start. But here goes.. I've been thinking about what my conversation was about one time before. With vinot..
I was Somehow just telling him about
"how girls takes all the little things a guy does & turn it into Something So complicated in their own little mind & they hurt themselves. because the truth is, some guys just wanna be friends."
.....and I told him I didn't wanna be amongst those kinda girls. and Vinot actually said something that made me realize Something else. he told me,
"you can.. yes you can try not to be amongst those girls, but don't let it become a wall, that at some point.... you don't even see what is in front of your eyes, are for real"
I do understand what he's trying to say.. and I kinda actually thought about it. and at Some point, I do see it now.. that I actually built walls around myself that its so hard for people to even reach me, to know me, to feel me. I become so numb that sometimes, I dont know what love feels like, what caring is all about, what friends are really like. without me realizing, I actually stop living life.. as me. I stop understanding what life is all about. what the hell happened man. I feel So numb. where did "i" go? I always felt like I have a complete life. I do actually. I do. but everything I do I feel empty. God knows what's missing. Have you ever felt so strong that it made you feel weak? long days, long nights and you just can't sleep sometimes?
..or have you ever been so sure that it gave you cold feet? well I get that a lot. a lot alright, till at times I feel so bare I can feel my heartbeat pounding fast.
What else am I looking for? I seriously don't know. I really don't. but walau apapun terjadi, I know that God is with me. all the time. Insyallah I'll be alright. amen~
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Abuse
Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone in a family or even in a relationship.. Regardless of size, gender, or strength, yet the problem is often excused, or denied.
Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you..
I know psychological abuse is often overlooked, yet it can leave deep and lasting scars. They say noticing and acknowledging the warning signs and symptoms of domestic violence and abuse is the first step to ending it.. But seriously?? I don't think so.
I just think that no one should live in fear of the person they love.. People say if you recognize yourself or someone you know in the following warning signs and descriptions of abuse, don’t hesitate to reach out. There is help available.
But I think not everyone can be saved.
I truly feel for those who went through this. Well I have. I sometimes don't understand up to a certain point where they start a joke that is not meant to be funny or make fun of you.. and when they get an unpleasant reaction, they get upset and there you go.. *Shazaymmn*!! Everything just went bombastic. And things repeats by itself and they will never change.
I'm starting to think that it is one of their bad habits that's hard for them to kick it out. and it isn't healthy at all. When you're abused physically and psychologically.. This can contribute to a disruption of the body system. These are one of the major factor on people who get stroke, mental illness; delusional and all. hmm. Abd like I said, this doesn't only take courage or guts, it takes you patience to handle this problem wisely.
And as for me. I've been through all these things and it is sure not easy. In short, never look for a guy who beats you up. Or just “stay away from the people who are capable of hurting you physically”.. Love yourself first. That's the mistake I did for so long.
Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you..
I know psychological abuse is often overlooked, yet it can leave deep and lasting scars. They say noticing and acknowledging the warning signs and symptoms of domestic violence and abuse is the first step to ending it.. But seriously?? I don't think so.
I just think that no one should live in fear of the person they love.. People say if you recognize yourself or someone you know in the following warning signs and descriptions of abuse, don’t hesitate to reach out. There is help available.
But I think not everyone can be saved.
I truly feel for those who went through this. Well I have. I sometimes don't understand up to a certain point where they start a joke that is not meant to be funny or make fun of you.. and when they get an unpleasant reaction, they get upset and there you go.. *Shazaymmn*!! Everything just went bombastic. And things repeats by itself and they will never change.
I'm starting to think that it is one of their bad habits that's hard for them to kick it out. and it isn't healthy at all. When you're abused physically and psychologically.. This can contribute to a disruption of the body system. These are one of the major factor on people who get stroke, mental illness; delusional and all. hmm. Abd like I said, this doesn't only take courage or guts, it takes you patience to handle this problem wisely.
And as for me. I've been through all these things and it is sure not easy. In short, never look for a guy who beats you up. Or just “stay away from the people who are capable of hurting you physically”.. Love yourself first. That's the mistake I did for so long.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Artist zaman sekarang. Baru NAK naik belagak melebih !
Susah kalau artist baru nak naik belagak macam diva. Patut sedar diri tapi belagak, tak pandang kan kiri dah. nak kata fake? plastic sangat la. Dengan datang rehearsal tak geti nak salam orang. Mintak tunjuk ajar orang yang berpengalaman mengajar harmony tapi kedekut gila nak bayar. Jangan lupa kita nak hidup bukan bayar pakai bulu kaki. Kalau bekerja keras untuk dapatkan duit. SO does others.
Showcase orang selamba kau bantai repeat lagu macam kau punya showcase. Siap boleh blame soundman/technical problem. Kalau ye pun you dont have the right to do so! it's not your bloody job to simply ruin the whole timing. Kalau bawak orang takpe lagi. Ni takde crowd langsung. Fan page 3000+ kononnya tapi sekor pon TAKDE. Kata.. Listed for ABP 2011.. Mesti ada fans kan? Dahla patahkan mic stand tak ganti/say sorry/apologize. Lepas perform terus cabut. apa salah nya lepak kejap tunggu closing to wrap up the show. Ni tak. Selamba kau je chow tak inform. Biadap bin Kurang ajaran. Dari dulu sampai sekarang takleh bawak berbincang langsung. Tegur sikit, terus delete kat facebook. Bila tanya kat phone tak reply. Pejadah la perangai. Tak berubah perangai macam budak2. Makin tua makin childish. sangat sangat CHILDISH. sebut nama kang terasa. Kalau sedar diri takpe.
Sabar je lah aku ni ha. dabik dada tanya selera. Orang buat baik tak geti nak balas.
Kat facebook rajin pulak delete-mendelete. screw tertanggal kot kat kepala tu. dulu pun sama. Argue pasal ideas of upcoming shows. tapi tanak terima. melenting. Don't let people around you swift away from you. Pegi la bengkel tu. Masuk workshop. perbetulkan apa yang patut.
Showcase orang selamba kau bantai repeat lagu macam kau punya showcase. Siap boleh blame soundman/technical problem. Kalau ye pun you dont have the right to do so! it's not your bloody job to simply ruin the whole timing. Kalau bawak orang takpe lagi. Ni takde crowd langsung. Fan page 3000+ kononnya tapi sekor pon TAKDE. Kata.. Listed for ABP 2011.. Mesti ada fans kan? Dahla patahkan mic stand tak ganti/say sorry/apologize. Lepas perform terus cabut. apa salah nya lepak kejap tunggu closing to wrap up the show. Ni tak. Selamba kau je chow tak inform. Biadap bin Kurang ajaran. Dari dulu sampai sekarang takleh bawak berbincang langsung. Tegur sikit, terus delete kat facebook. Bila tanya kat phone tak reply. Pejadah la perangai. Tak berubah perangai macam budak2. Makin tua makin childish. sangat sangat CHILDISH. sebut nama kang terasa. Kalau sedar diri takpe.
Sabar je lah aku ni ha. dabik dada tanya selera. Orang buat baik tak geti nak balas.
Kat facebook rajin pulak delete-mendelete. screw tertanggal kot kat kepala tu. dulu pun sama. Argue pasal ideas of upcoming shows. tapi tanak terima. melenting. Don't let people around you swift away from you. Pegi la bengkel tu. Masuk workshop. perbetulkan apa yang patut.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Soulful Celebrities @ Celebrity Club .
Well , what can I say .. Yesterday was absofrigginly awesome . Honestly I didn't expect it to be REALLY GOOD . In fact it was spectacular . Soulful Celebrities was held at Celebrity Club Solaris Mont Kiara , Soho KL starting 0930pm - 0100am .
Kudos to My brother Andi as I must say .. practically He managed everything by himself . Didn't think he could pull off a bloody good show like yesterday . I'm sure it wasn't easy for him to handle everything on his own .. Since he has a showcase which he also produced earlier .. That was @ Laundry Bar , Curve which sadly I didn't make it due to my show . That too , he worked alone .
As per yesterday . He gathered soulful singers & big names together like ; Fatin Syazana , Amirul Jafril , Sabhi Saddi & Andi A. Merican ( my brother himself ) .. had a complete set of 'talented' musicians and BVs , He got the venue sendiri , the promotions and printing all by himself jugak . With no help . Forked out his own benjamins . And just look at yesterday !! the crowd loved it !!
He planned everything . All the artistes , the place , musicians , promotions , designing .. And the banner was pretty ! plus the sales , The crowd .. Everything lah I must say ! Dah separuh jalan through out the show pun abang aku sebok jalan sana sini , berpeluh macam forest gump .. Entertaining guests and all . I'd say mamat ni bagus gila lah ( not that I always puji him ! ) I know he is bagus . But yesterday he was really bagus . as a matter of fact . he was more than bagus . He showed to everyone that despite whatever he's doing , all the business and etc .. He managed to not only talk the talk , he walks the walk too . Pulled off a great show . And it was a one man show .
A token of appreciation to : Fatin Syazana .. Girl !!! you've got soul ! , Amirul Jafril and the great sound ! .. Sabhi Saddi ( Boy ) + your move and groove ! And lastly hehe .. Abalong .. some awesome shit broooo !
So far semalam sangat mengasyikkan . Despite the soundman yang memang agak mengundang backslap dari ku .. other than that everything went well . KUDOS ! Memang semalam was a blast . The musicians + BVs memang bagus !! diorang betul2 'bagi' soul diorang ..
and they are called 'HARMONISME' .. and they're all single too . hahaha . BETUL LAH !
consist of 'Zharif , Shah Hans and Farhan !' wuhooo . dah macam gospel kat church pun ada diorang ni . tak percaya ? you wait for the next showcase and check them out Standing ovation okay !(:
Plus , feedback from the guests pun sangat memuaskan . Puas hati sangat .. Some of the people even said it's soooooo worth it for only rm35-50 . in fact sangat murah la kalau anda tengok show semalam . Cause yesterday's show is definitely worth more than that . Thanks to all who came !!!!!
One word to describe the event : Outstanding .
Adios (:
Kudos to My brother Andi as I must say .. practically He managed everything by himself . Didn't think he could pull off a bloody good show like yesterday . I'm sure it wasn't easy for him to handle everything on his own .. Since he has a showcase which he also produced earlier .. That was @ Laundry Bar , Curve which sadly I didn't make it due to my show . That too , he worked alone .
As per yesterday . He gathered soulful singers & big names together like ; Fatin Syazana , Amirul Jafril , Sabhi Saddi & Andi A. Merican ( my brother himself ) .. had a complete set of 'talented' musicians and BVs , He got the venue sendiri , the promotions and printing all by himself jugak . With no help . Forked out his own benjamins . And just look at yesterday !! the crowd loved it !!
He planned everything . All the artistes , the place , musicians , promotions , designing .. And the banner was pretty ! plus the sales , The crowd .. Everything lah I must say ! Dah separuh jalan through out the show pun abang aku sebok jalan sana sini , berpeluh macam forest gump .. Entertaining guests and all . I'd say mamat ni bagus gila lah ( not that I always puji him ! ) I know he is bagus . But yesterday he was really bagus . as a matter of fact . he was more than bagus . He showed to everyone that despite whatever he's doing , all the business and etc .. He managed to not only talk the talk , he walks the walk too . Pulled off a great show . And it was a one man show .
A token of appreciation to : Fatin Syazana .. Girl !!! you've got soul ! , Amirul Jafril and the great sound ! .. Sabhi Saddi ( Boy ) + your move and groove ! And lastly hehe .. Abalong .. some awesome shit broooo !
So far semalam sangat mengasyikkan . Despite the soundman yang memang agak mengundang backslap dari ku .. other than that everything went well . KUDOS ! Memang semalam was a blast . The musicians + BVs memang bagus !! diorang betul2 'bagi' soul diorang ..
and they are called 'HARMONISME' .. and they're all single too . hahaha . BETUL LAH !
consist of 'Zharif , Shah Hans and Farhan !' wuhooo . dah macam gospel kat church pun ada diorang ni . tak percaya ? you wait for the next showcase and check them out Standing ovation okay !(:
Plus , feedback from the guests pun sangat memuaskan . Puas hati sangat .. Some of the people even said it's soooooo worth it for only rm35-50 . in fact sangat murah la kalau anda tengok show semalam . Cause yesterday's show is definitely worth more than that . Thanks to all who came !!!!!
One word to describe the event : Outstanding .
Adios (:
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Cheap Flower Delivery
A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion.
They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card.
It said "Rest in Peace".
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was,
The florist said:
"Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying 'Congratulations on your new location'."
They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card.
It said "Rest in Peace".
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was,
The florist said:
"Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying 'Congratulations on your new location'."
How can I help you
(I work at the customer service desk at a grocery store . One day I had a guy come up and cash a winning lottery ticket for a dollar , and this is what then took place )
Me: There you go. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
Customer: Yeah, uhh I've got some dishes to be done, some windows to be washed, and a lawn to be mowed.
Me: *thinking he's joking* ha, yeah
Customer: *blank stare* are you gonna help me?
Me: still thinking he's joking* Ha, well, until **** opens up an At-Home division, I guess I can't help you out.
Customer: So you're not gonna help me?
Me: *realizing he's serious* no, sir. I can't just leave and go home with you to do chores.
Customer: You shouldn't be offering to do something if you don't plan on going through with it.
Me: I'm sorry, sir, but- ..
Customer: *interrupting* Next time, don't offer if you're not gonna do it! *storms off*
moral of the story is . Wow . how serious can a person be .
Me: There you go. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
Customer: Yeah, uhh I've got some dishes to be done, some windows to be washed, and a lawn to be mowed.
Me: *thinking he's joking* ha, yeah
Customer: *blank stare* are you gonna help me?
Me: still thinking he's joking* Ha, well, until **** opens up an At-Home division, I guess I can't help you out.
Customer: So you're not gonna help me?
Me: *realizing he's serious* no, sir. I can't just leave and go home with you to do chores.
Customer: You shouldn't be offering to do something if you don't plan on going through with it.
Me: I'm sorry, sir, but- ..
Customer: *interrupting* Next time, don't offer if you're not gonna do it! *storms off*
moral of the story is . Wow . how serious can a person be .
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
You've gotta love the Canadian Sense of Humor !
Westjet Flight Information .
West Jet is an Airline with head office situated in Calgary. West Jet airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight & safety lectures and announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are several real examples that have been heard or reported by passengers from real flights:
On a West Jet flight. There is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want. Passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, People, people weare not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!
On another West Jet Flight with a very senior flight attendant crew, the pilot said, Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.
On landing, the stewardess said, Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you are going to leave anything, please make sure its something we would like to have.
There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.
Thank you for flying West Jet Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at the Vancouver airport, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: big fella. WHOA!
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Ontario, a flight attendant on a West Jet flight announced, Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.
From a West Jet Airlines employee: Welcome aboard West Jet Flight 245 to Calgary. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.
In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling, stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we will try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than West Jet Airlines.
Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.
As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.
And from the pilot during his welcome message: West Jet Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!
Heard on West Jet Airlines just after a very hard landing in Edmonton; The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, That was quite a bump, and I know what you all are thinking. I am here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt.
Overheard on a West Jet Airlines flight into Regina on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Regina. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a Thanks for flying our airline. He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question
Why, no, Maam, said the pilot. What is it?
The little old lady said, Did we land, or were we shot down?
After a real crusher of a landing in Halifax, the attendant came on with, Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of West Jet Airways.
Heard on a West Jet Airline flight. Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can light em, you can smoke em.
A plane was taking off from the Winnipeg airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from Winnipeg to Montreal. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax.. OH, MY GOD!
Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee on my lap. You should see the front of my pants! A passenger yelled: That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!
West Jet is an Airline with head office situated in Calgary. West Jet airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight & safety lectures and announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are several real examples that have been heard or reported by passengers from real flights:
On a West Jet flight. There is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want. Passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, People, people weare not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!
On another West Jet Flight with a very senior flight attendant crew, the pilot said, Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.
On landing, the stewardess said, Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you are going to leave anything, please make sure its something we would like to have.
There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.
Thank you for flying West Jet Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at the Vancouver airport, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: big fella. WHOA!
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Ontario, a flight attendant on a West Jet flight announced, Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.
From a West Jet Airlines employee: Welcome aboard West Jet Flight 245 to Calgary. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.
In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling, stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we will try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than West Jet Airlines.
Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.
As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.
And from the pilot during his welcome message: West Jet Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!
Heard on West Jet Airlines just after a very hard landing in Edmonton; The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, That was quite a bump, and I know what you all are thinking. I am here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt.
Overheard on a West Jet Airlines flight into Regina on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Regina. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a Thanks for flying our airline. He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question
Why, no, Maam, said the pilot. What is it?
The little old lady said, Did we land, or were we shot down?
After a real crusher of a landing in Halifax, the attendant came on with, Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of West Jet Airways.
Heard on a West Jet Airline flight. Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can light em, you can smoke em.
A plane was taking off from the Winnipeg airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from Winnipeg to Montreal. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax.. OH, MY GOD!
Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee on my lap. You should see the front of my pants! A passenger yelled: That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!
Monday, November 8, 2010
The Stupid Turkey .
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
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